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1st March 2008, 08:06 AM
|  | TST Expert | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 702 posts. Location: sunderland Reputation:  | | | parental skills
sorry gentlemen but i couldn't disagree more. it is a forum for technical help not to comment on child rearing parent skills. if you make a mess of a pc it is rectifiable, perhaps with some loss of data but to make a wrong choice with people that's big trouble.
these days, to make reference to someone's parenting skills may well end up being told where to go, or with a fat lip.
by all means inform people of the options to prevent bad surfing and appalling downloads by children but don't comment on parental skills. Quote:
Originally Posted by Albert Lionheart View Post
evilfantasy - if that is not a standard reference point for the forum, I suggest it should be.
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by evilfantasy Tell the that although you are sure their parenting skills are good
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1st March 2008, 01:34 PM
|  | TST Master | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 3,366 posts. Reputation:   | |
I can find the quote by Albert, but I seem unable to find EF`s quote.
Can you provide links please when quoting from different sources?
I agree this is a tech forum, but we`re only trying to make people understand the importance of keeping their children safe online.
Regards Howard | 
1st March 2008, 02:17 PM
|  | Community Moderator | | Join Date: Nov 2007, 238 posts. Location: Yuma, AZ USA Reputation:  | | |
While this is a technical forum, I find that many computer problems are a direct result of children being provided unfettered access to the systems, therefore making the discussions worthy of the forum. The lack of parental oversight can often be seen as the root cause of many of the safety issues seen on the internet. I for one do not understand the expectation of parents that by installing parental control and blocking software, that they can abdicate their responsibility to know what a child is doing on the computer. Technical tools are helpful when it comes to protecting children from unsavory content, and also good for somewhat protecting the systems from the activities of children, but they certainly are no substitute for parental involvement.
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1st March 2008, 05:59 PM
|  | TST Expert | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 687 posts. Reputation:  | | Quote:
Originally Posted by howard_hopkinso I agree this is a tech forum, but we`re only trying to make people understand the importance of keeping their children safe online.
Regards Howard  | I agree. People sometimes have to be told what they're doing wrong.
__________________ Gigabyte GA-MA78LMT-US2H / Athlon II X4 630 3.2GHz / OCZ SpecOPS PC3-12800 2x2GB / GF 9800GT 512MB | 
1st March 2008, 06:10 PM
|  | Security Team | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 2,555 posts. Location: Tulsa, OK Reputation:   | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Albert Lionheart Youth's dad turned up today - he was not impressed with some of the stuff we found on the thing and as it turns out to have 2 HDDs in it we agreed to move the decent stuff to one of them and reinstall XPH onto the other. One day I will get to follow the procedures for real, but not this time! Thanks for the help Howard
On a serious not, although it is not my place to comment on what his Dad and I found on this machine - explains a lot about today's society's values.
If you were asked to fix a machine stuffed full of porn, what would you do about showing the parents if asked? Shall we have a poll? No, not a pole to dance round - be serious! | Quote:
Originally Posted by evilfantasy Tell them that although you are sure their parenting skills are good you feel you should warn them about the things found on the computer. Make them aware that studies have shown that viewing porn at a young age is very similar to to a child experimenting with marijuana. It is a gateway to many many other more dark and sinister activities. No parent needs much more warning than that. All you can do is set the record straight and hope they handle it in the right manner. | The question was presented and I answered it. Are you suggesting we ignore questions? I'm not a perfect parent. Sometimes things have to be brought to my attention as I don't want to think my kids are being bad when in reality they are. Quote: |
In a survey of approximately 6,000 Canadian children, 26 per cent of the 9- to 10-year-olds said they visited private and adult-only chat rooms. The number increased to 66 per cent for 15- to 17-year-olds.
| If you read here you will see that I actually put some time into the response. It isn't something I just pulled off the top of my head.
Last edited by evilfantasy; 1st March 2008 at 06:17 PM.
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1st March 2008, 06:17 PM
|  | TST Expert | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 687 posts. Reputation:  | | |
Should this be moved to the 'debating room'?
__________________ Gigabyte GA-MA78LMT-US2H / Athlon II X4 630 3.2GHz / OCZ SpecOPS PC3-12800 2x2GB / GF 9800GT 512MB | 
1st March 2008, 06:22 PM
|  | Security Team | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 2,555 posts. Location: Tulsa, OK Reputation:   | | |
Hopefully it can stay here and get more views and opinions. This may be a sensitive subject but I welcome any criticism. If something I have written needs to be changed I am more that happy to do it. But everything was researched from multiple sources (links provided). It isn't my opinion alone the views/advice came from the experts.
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1st March 2008, 06:24 PM
|  | Super Moderator | | Join Date: Oct 2007, 2,181 posts. Reputation:   | |
I agree.
Child online safety is most definitely related to a tech forum. evilfantasys thread is great, and he is only giving advice/suggestions to parents for their child's safety.
Don't know if you've heard of COPPA (Children's Online Privacy Protection Act), we have it in place here, as anyone under the age of 13 cannot pass any private information on without the consent of their parent/guardian.
Regards Jason | 
1st March 2008, 07:48 PM
|  | TST Expert | | Join Date: Jan 2008, 894 posts. Reputation:   | |
Since I work for Child Protective Services for the past 10 years I do have a passion for making sure our children are safe. I have seen way to much abuse in my line of work. I am also a mandated report so if I suspect child abuse in any form, I am mandated by law to report it to the proper agency.
Our children suffer at the hands of not only their peers, but from their parents/guardians/trusted people in their lives. Sometimes parents are naive to the ways of computers and wouldn't have a clue as to knowing how to find out if their children are safe or not. I believe that any parent that would allow their child to have access to a computer should also learn themselves what the computer world is all about and how to keep their children as safe as possible while on it.
Children should NOT be left alone while surfing the web. One wrong click and something pops up that you would never expect. I remember when I was doing a term paper in college and I needed to make a forest scene. I googled for things like trees, bushes, shrubs etc. Seems innocent enough eh?
Well, if you read one of those words "bushes" it can mean something other than greenery...if you get my drift  . So you can imagine what kind of porn started coming up on my computer...and I didn't even click on one of those links! What if my grandchildren had been sitting here?
Do I think it is right for someone to tell parents where there children are and what they are doing? YOU BET YOUR SWEET BUTT I DO!!!!!!!!! I don't care what kind of forum this is or who gets hurt or whatever... our children need us to look out for them at all times. You may just have saved one child from abuse of the worst kind by telling their parents what they are viewing.
Oops...long winded again. But, our children are our future! Take care of them please.
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1st March 2008, 07:55 PM
|  | TST Master | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 3,366 posts. Reputation:   | |
Well said Kathy, I agree 100% with what you say.
Children do need to be protected from all the sick and perverted buggers that are out there.
It`s perfectly fine to discuss this on our forums. The more people that know about the risks of children using the net unsupervised, the better.
Maybe if some dumbass parents read this, it`ll make them think and in so doing help to protect their kids.
Regards Howard | 
1st March 2008, 08:13 PM
|  | Security Team | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 2,555 posts. Location: Tulsa, OK Reputation:   | | |
Yea, I remember when any search term brought up a porn site. Luckily that has changed somewhat.
The old saying 'it takes a village to raise a child' is still true even in the 21st century.
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1st March 2008, 10:40 PM
|  | TST Expert | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 687 posts. Reputation:  | | |
I agree 100% wigh. All it takes is a five-year-old to search for an innocent term, and it could come up with all sorts of stuff.
__________________ Gigabyte GA-MA78LMT-US2H / Athlon II X4 630 3.2GHz / OCZ SpecOPS PC3-12800 2x2GB / GF 9800GT 512MB | 
2nd March 2008, 04:13 PM
|  | TST Expert | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 702 posts. Location: sunderland Reputation:  | | Quote: |
originally posted by howard. I agree this is a tech forum, but we`re only trying to make people understand the importance of keeping their children safe online.
| i agree in absolute, children do need protection but the point and it is everyone's duty to aid their protection. my original post regarding parental skill is that it is not anyone's right to make a comment on parental skills other than people who are qualified to do so. if it were me in that had a son or daughter that had been downloading porn etc, i would appreciate being told of the software available to stop it but would take umbrage hearing reference to parental skills.
as a long time single parent that has raised three children and neither of the three have ever brought trouble to my door, i must say hearing reference to parental skills from an unqualified person, i would not appreciate.
as for the protection of children i have experienced at first hand the dangers to myself and my family of protecting a child. eg, threats to harm my daughter, to burn down my home, my car vandalised and more, all in the aid to protect someone else's child. and would do it again.
until 03/09/05, i had accredited certificates for child protection from the F.A that are renewable every third year.
anyway... i have gone on to long and after all that i am still learning to be a good parent.
i will apologise for the long script and the bad english. i had to force myself to stop | 
2nd March 2008, 04:24 PM
|  | Security Team | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 2,555 posts. Location: Tulsa, OK Reputation:   | | |
But I have to say again, the question was asked. I didn't simply impose my view I gave facts from experts. i.e "Studies have shown"
If you were to see someone struggling with a solution and you knew some good resources wouldn't it be human nature to say something......anything that may help?
Telling someone you are sure their parenting skills are good is far from infalmatory. If that does set someone off then they need more than parenting classes. Anger management!
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2nd March 2008, 04:51 PM
|  | TST Expert | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 702 posts. Location: sunderland Reputation:  | | Quote:
Originally Posted by evilfantasy
Telling someone you are sure their parenting skills are good is far from infalmatory. If that does set someone off then they need more than parenting classes. Anger management! | but you cant say that to people that you don't know and know nothing about! and you didn't say "you are sure their parenting skills are good". i shall say it openly and plainly, it is not your or my place to make comment on parental skills to people that we do not know, with or without added statistics.
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2nd March 2008, 05:03 PM
|  | Security Team | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 2,555 posts. Location: Tulsa, OK Reputation:   | | |
And I have to say plainly again. The question was presented, I didn't just inject my view with no provocation. You have to take the conversation as a whole.
Last edited by evilfantasy; 2nd March 2008 at 05:08 PM.
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2nd March 2008, 05:15 PM
|  | TST Expert | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 702 posts. Location: sunderland Reputation:  | | |
within anything that i have posted i can guarantee that there was no intent of provocation. and regret that you have had cause to feel provoked. nevertheless i stand by my convictions and principals.
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2nd March 2008, 05:18 PM
|  | TST Master | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 3,366 posts. Reputation:   | |
I see absolutely nothing wrong in what EF said. Quote: |
Originally Posted by evilfantasy Tell the(m) that although you are sure their parenting skills are good you feel you should warn them about the things found on the computer. | The parenting skills of these people were never at any point brought into question.
I really don`t see what all the fuss is about.
Suffice to say, we are all agreed on the need to try and keep kids safe on the pervert ridden internet.
Regards Howard | 
2nd March 2008, 05:24 PM
|  | TST Expert | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 702 posts. Location: sunderland Reputation:  | | |
sorry howard, reference to parental skills should not be made to strangers. i stand my ground
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2nd March 2008, 05:25 PM
|  | Security Team | | Join Date: Dec 2007, 2,555 posts. Location: Tulsa, OK Reputation:   | | |
If my kids have friends over and the other child is acting up in a manner that I feel needs parental discipline of any sort I will send them home before scolding them. Telling them to quiet down or stop running is one thing. But discipline absolutely not. So I do see your point quite well and do agree. So please don't think I'm not pointing a finger at you Tom. I just wish you would take the whole conversation into account and not just one sentence.
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