[Albert Lionheart]

the aliens and the petrol pump



Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a petrol station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the petrol pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.'

The petrol pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed until he finally regained consciousness. Refocusing his three eyes, he straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his willy over his shoulder and stick it in his ear.'

[Blackmirror]

[Gunner]

I saw that one coming. Hey, I'm old and been around.

Same two aliens heard the drinks were on the house and beelined to Earth.
A human ran up and said, "You want me to take you to our leader?"
Alien responded, "NO!! Take me to your ladder, I'll see your leader latter!!"
That's so old it has mold.

[Blackmirror]

Two aliens from outer space landed in Las Vegas and were wandering around the casinos. One of them volunteered to go inside and see what was happening. He came out looking rather shocked.
"What's the matter?" asked his friend.
"It's a very popular place," replied the first alien.
"It's full of creatures that keep throwing up little metal discs."